I Saw the New Recruits Killing Santa Clause
by Skeith the First Phase of 8
Summary: FINISHED!
1. What Was That Noise?

I Saw the New Recruits Killing Santa Clause  
  
Disclaimer: I hate this part. No I don't own any thing from X-Men: Evolution because if I did the new recruits would appear more often, Jean wouldn't be a bi*ch, Evan would be dead, Rahne and Jubilee would of never of left the institute, and Gambit would have appeared at the beginning of the series. NOT FOR JEAN FANS!!!  
  
1) What Was That Noise?  
  
Christmas Eve-  
  
In the main room of the institute Beast was sitting at a desk, writing his story.  
  
Beast: It's finally finished! I've got to go get the others so I can read this to the students.  
  
Beast had been writing his story since 11:00 am and it was now 5:29 pm. Beast walked outside to find the New Recruits having a snowball fight.  
  
Beast: May I have your attention! I have something for you that you guys might find interesting.  
  
Bobby: What?  
  
Beast: It's just a story about my life here at the institute.  
  
All of the New Recruits stop dead in their tracks.  
  
Bobby: Who would want to hear that?  
  
Beast: Well it's punishment for waking me last night, especially Rahne, since she was the one who was the loudest.  
  
Rahne: What noise?  
  
Beast: You had your head phones on all the time.  
  
Ray: I told you to turn that damn song off!  
  
Rahne: I couldn't help it. That song was so catchy.  
  
Beast: Well come on in.  
  
They all walk into the house to the main room. The Professor was waiting there, along with the other X-Men.  
  
Beast: Oh, you already here.  
  
Prof. X: I over heard you when I was looking for everyone with my powers, so I called everyone here.  
  
X-23: Why the hell am I here? I'm not even a member of the team.  
  
Logan: I invited you to stay over the holidays.  
  
X-23: So.  
  
Jean: Come on at least he was kind enough to do that for someone.  
  
Prof. X: Jean, do us a favor and shut up.  
  
10:36 pm-  
  
Prof. X: Man that was boring.  
  
Beast I told you it was punishment for the New Recruits. Besides it's been about 5 hours since I finished reading so be quite about it already.  
  
Storm: Is everyone in bed?  
  
Logan: Yeah, and I think we should all turn in.  
  
Prof. X: Good idea.  
  
Jean: (Walks down the stairs) Man I can't sleep.  
  
Prof. X: Go to bed Jean!  
  
Jean: But I can't sleep.  
  
Prof. X: GO TO BED BI*CH!  
  
Jean: Fine!  
  
Prof. X: Logan, do me a favor a kill Jean this Christmas. It would mean so much to me.  
  
Logan: I'll do it in the morning. (Yawn) Good night and merry Christmas.  
  
All of the adults go to bed. However there was one adult still awake, one known as Santa Clause.  
  
Santa: I hate my job. (Takes some of the white stuff, and I'm not talking about the snow) Oh that's better!  
  
~~In Bobby's room~~  
  
(Foot steps)  
  
Bobby: What the hell was that? (Hears the foot steps again) I bet it's the Brotherhood. I got to get the rest of the New Recruits.  
  
Booby goes around the institute and eventually all of the New Recruits were awake.  
  
Sam: If it is the Brotherhood we're gonna need help.  
  
Jamie: How about Logan?  
  
Bobby: No, he would give us extra training with him.  
  
Amara: How about X-23?  
  
???: What about me Amara?  
  
They all turn to see X-23.  
  
Jubilee: When did you get here?  
  
X-23: A while ago.  
  
Roberto: (Yawn) Can we just go back to bed.  
  
Bobby: No! We're going to stop those Brotherhood losers before they can strike. Now let's go up on the roof.  
  
Everyone bur Bobby: The roof?  
  
Bobby: That's where I heard the footsteps. Now come on!  
  
They all follow Bobby to the roof, and this is where they in some serious sh*t.  
  
M.R.D.: That's me!!! Oh, well that's the end of chapter 1. I can't wait until the next chapter. Now if you excuse me, I have to kill Jean Grey. (Holds up a weapon that's a cross between a flamethrower, a bazooka, and cheese wiz) Read & Review! 


	2. They Killed Santa! What to Do?

M.R.D.: I got some reviews! I got some reviews! Don't worry people; I'll bash Jean throughout the fic. Now to show my appreciation for your reviews I'm going to make you all citizens of my planet, Planet Gafomaje (Pronounced Gaa-foo-maa-g). Now I want to start chapter 2!  
  
Disclaimer: Do you really think I own X-Men: Evolution? Do you? I also don't own Hostess.  
  
Chapter 2) They Killed Santa! What to Do?  
  
On the roof-  
  
Bobby: I see one of them.  
  
Sam: Which one is it?  
  
Bobby: Well he's fat and smells real bad. It must be Blob. I think he's all alone.  
  
Jamie: Uh. don't you think it might be Santa?  
  
Bobby: It can't be because Santa doesn't have 8 reindeers.  
  
Everyone but Bobby: (Smacks their hand to their forehead)  
  
Bobby: On the count of three, Roberto, you absorb the sunlight and attack him first.  
  
Roberto: I can't because the sun isn't out.  
  
Bobby: Then what the hell is that! (Points to the moon)  
  
Roberto: You sad poor child. What did your parents do to you when you were young?  
  
Bobby: Hmmmm..  
  
~~~Bobby's childhood~~~  
  
Bobby's Dad: Here son, play with this. (Hands Bobby a frying pan)  
  
Bobby: Thanks daddy! (Starts hitting himself on the head)  
  
~~~Present~~~  
  
Bobby: I can't remember. Anyways, on the count of three we all attack. 1.2.3!  
  
Santa: Ho? (Sees the New Recruits and X-23) Not again.  
  
They all start to attack Santa. Jamie starts to swarm all over Santa with all of his clones, Sam repeatedly jumps at him, Rahne transforms in to her half human, half wolf form and starts clawing his face up, Bobby starts shooting ice at Santa, X-23 starts punching and kicking him, Jubilee shoots fireworks at Santa, Amara continues to throw fireballs at Santa, and Roberto just sits back and sleeps since he can't use his powers.  
  
Santa: X_X  
  
Rahne: Umm, Bobby this isn't Blob.  
  
Bobby: It's not? Then who did we just kill?  
  
X-23: Santa.  
  
Bobby: Uh Oh.  
  
Jamie: What do we do know?  
  
Bobby: First, we put him in Jean's room, next we .  
  
Roberto: (snore)  
  
Bobby: Wake up! (Starts to slap Roberto's face)  
  
Roberto: Yeah that the stuff! Hostess  
  
Bobby: Wake up damn it! You're selling things though your dreams again!  
  
Roberto: Yum! Nuggets! (snore)  
  
Amara: I now how to wake him up.  
  
To Be Continued.  
  
M.R.D.: That's chapter two! Will Roberto wake up? What is Amara's plan? Will Jean be killed soon? Find out in chapter 3!!!! Read & Review or I throw you off my planet. Okay I won't throw you off my planet, but you wont get any free cheese. 


	3. Who Goes and Who Gets Rid of the Body?

M.R.D.: Thanks for all of the reviews folks! All of you are now official citizens of Gafomaje! (See my Bio page) Now I need to make some things a little clear, 1) I seem to of forgotten to put Ray in my little tale; 2) This is NOT a Bobby bashing fic. I just thought it would be funny to make him a little, umm, strange; and 3) I am not putting Tabitha in this fic because it is a fic about the New Recruits, let me explain, she left the X- Men and joined the Brotherhood, after she left the Brotherhood she didn't rejoin the X-Men (But she sill helps them around and stays in contact with them), and she has her own uniform (The one seen in Walk on the Wild side, and both episodes of the fourth season finally) Now enough talking, lets get to the third chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't make me come back there you lawyers! I don't own the series! I also don't own Planters Nuts.  
  
3) Who Goes and Who Gets Rid of the Body?  
  
Amara: I know how to wake him up.  
  
Jamie: How?  
  
Amara: Bobby, you hold his eyelids apart so he can see, Jamie, you turn around and cover your eyes.  
  
Bobby: Alright. (Pulls Roberto's eyelids apart so he can see)  
  
Amara: Oh forgive me for this. (Lifts her shr- arm to the side of her head and smacks Roberto silly) (You thought I was going to say her shirt)  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Roberto: @_@  
  
Santa: X_X  
  
Jamie: ^_^  
  
Sam: &_&  
  
Rahne: #_$  
  
Amara: That's enough of the face making.  
  
Bobby: (Pulls down his pants and sits on the edge of the chimney) Oh, that's much better.  
  
Amara: -_- I didn't need to see that. Now let's get rid of Santa's body.  
  
Rahne: But how? We can't leave the institute this late at night.  
  
Jubilee: Just leave it to me. (Pushes Santa's body off the roof)  
  
~~~In the Front of the institute~~~  
  
Jean: It's so nice out tonight.  
  
Scott: Yeah it is.  
  
Jean: You know what would make this night even better?  
  
Scott: I have an idea. What?  
  
Jean: (Leans in close to Scott) A Christmas kiss.  
  
Scott: Oh Jean.  
  
Jean: Oh Sco- do you hear some thing?  
  
Scott: (Looks up) What the hell is that?  
  
Santa's body: (Falling)  
  
Jean and Scott: (Look at each other) Oh sh- (Get crushed by Santa)  
  
Jean: I can't feel my legs  
  
Scott: Mmphphmphmphhmmmmph.(You don't want to know where my head is)  
  
~~~On the roof~~~  
  
Sam: Umm, Jubilee, I don't think that was a good idea. We want to get rid of the body so no one can find it.  
  
Jubilee: Ohhhhhhhhh, to get rid of the body so people won't find it.  
  
X-23: You do know that someone will have to do Santa's run.  
  
Sam: Well it can't be Bobby. How about you since you suggested it.  
  
X-23: Fine, but I'm going to need an elf.  
  
~~~In, you guessed it, Nightcrawler's room~~~  
  
X-23: Kurt, hey Kurt.  
  
Kurt: Huh? X-23: I need your help.  
  
Kurt: With vat? (Forgive me if my German accent is off)  
  
X-23: (Explains what happened)  
  
Kurt: All right I'll help, but only if I can call out the reindeer's names.  
  
X-23: Fine.  
  
~~~Later~~~  
  
X-23 and Kurt were sitting in the sleigh.  
  
X-23: Go on Kurt.  
  
Kurt: Finally! My dream comes true! (Clears hi throat) Off Slasher, off Planters Nuts, off Panzer and Richard Nixon, off Vomit and Stupid, Stoner and the other guy!  
  
Everyone: Wha?  
  
X-23: That was just sad, just sad.  
  
(The sleigh takes off)  
  
X-23: Good-bye!  
  
Everyone else: Good luck!  
  
Bobby: I peed myself!  
  
Everyone: -_-  
  
M.R.D.: And thus ends the third chapter in this fic. I hope you had a good time and please join me again in Chapter 4.  
  
P.S.- You don't want to know where Scott's head was. 


	4. Do They Celebrate Christmas?

M.R.D.: Alright! I'm back. I HATE HIGHSCOOL!!!!!!!!!!! That's why it took me longer to update than usual. Anywho, I guess it is time for chapter 4. (As Yoda) A chapter that brings peace in the galaxy, it does. (Normal) Sorry, that just slipped out. I will just like to say a few words before we begin: Do, you, know, the, way, to, my, and toilet.  
  
Disclaimer: I seem to of misplace my disclaimer.  
  
4) Do They Celebrate Christmas?  
  
~~~In the sky, somewhere~~~  
  
Kurt: You know X-23; I've alvays vanted to know how Santa put all of his toys into one sack. (Remember that I'm not that good with accents)  
  
X-23: Why don't you look?  
  
Kurt: Cool! (Sticks his head into the sack, but quickly pulls it out) (Breathing heavily) O.O Now I know vhy his name says Satan if you switch the last three letters in his name around.  
  
X-23: Is it really that bad?  
  
Kurt: See for yourself! (Pulls the sack over X-23's eyes)  
  
X-23: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take it off! Take it off!  
  
~~~Back at the institute, on the ground~~~  
  
Rahne: O.o I can't move him he's to fat! (Sees the others relaxing and playing in the snow) GET BACK OVER HERE YOU NO GOOD ASSH- oh look, a penny! (Picks it up)  
  
Amara: I don't wanna move it.  
  
Bobby: I know how to move his body!  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Bobby: (Freezes Santa in to an ice ball)  
  
Sam: Good idea Bobby! Boy, there are three words I thought I'd never say in the same sentence.  
  
They all roll Santa's body away and soon discover two new bodies.  
  
Scott: X_X  
  
Jean: X_X  
  
Rahne: Great! We killed Scott and Jean!  
  
Jubilee: Celebration!  
  
~~~They all start dancing like the guys from Charlie Brown ~~~  
  
Sam: That was strange.  
  
Jamie: Yes. It was.  
  
Scott: Oh, my head. Jean, are you alright?  
  
Jean: Yeah.  
  
Jamie: THEIR ALIVE!  
  
Roberto: (Whacks them over the head with a conveniently nearby shovel) That should shut them up. Now where are we putting Santa's body?  
  
~~~ In the sky, somewhere ~~~  
  
X-23: If you ever put that sack over my head again I'll kill you.  
  
Kurt: Alright, alright. LOOK OUT! THE SACK IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!  
  
X-23: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kurt: HAHA! Got ya'!  
  
X-23: (Growl)  
  
Kurt: O_O  
  
X-23: Where are we going first?  
  
Kurt: (Looks at the list) The Brotherhood.  
  
X-23: Them? Are you sure?  
  
Kurt: Yeah. X-23: Great.  
  
~~~ They land on the roof ~~~  
  
~~~ The Brotherhood home~~~  
  
X-23: Alright, Toad gets a fly zapper, Lance gets a new fruit bowl, and Blob gets a lifetime supply of bacon.  
  
Kurt: What about Wanda and Pietro? (I think that's correct)  
  
X-23: They don't celebrate because their Jewish.  
  
Kurt: But we don't know about their mother. She could of celebrated Christmas.  
  
X-23: Don't give me "if" stuff.  
  
???: Hey! Who's down there?!  
  
Kurt: Crap! You woke them up!  
  
X-23: It wasn't my fault! Just port us to the roof!  
  
Kurt and X-23: (Bamf)  
  
~~~ At the institute ~~~  
  
~~~Outside Rahne's room. A sign that says "Stay Oot!" hangs on the door ~~~ (Yes I spelled Out "Oot" for a reason. First person to tell me why I spelled Out "Oot" gets a free slice of bacon)  
  
~~~Santa's body is on her bed~~~  
  
Roberto: We need to find an easier way of getting him around.  
  
Rahne: How about a wheel chair.  
  
Sam: Does the Professor even have an extra we can borrow?  
  
Rahne: There's only one way to be sure and that's to look. We need to send to people to go while the rest stay and watch over the body. Bobby and Jamie, you will- GET OUT OF THERE!  
  
Bobby and Jamie: (Going through Rahne's underwear)  
  
Bobby: (Looks up) Wha?  
  
Jamie: (Also looks up, but is holding a thong) Hello!  
  
Rahne: (Smacks them over the head) (Blushing) You two are going to see if the Professor has an extra wheel chair.  
  
Bobby: Why us.  
  
Rahne: Because you two are smart (Looks at Bobby) Okay, only Jamie is smart, but we're sending you because we just don't want you here right now because you screw things up all the time.  
  
Bobby: (Picking his nose) What? I wasn't listening.  
  
M.R.D.: Sorry if it might not be as good as the other three chapters, but it is only because of school. Remember to try to answer the question above; it's a tricky one, so think hard. I'll give you a hint: The one who has the sign cleans an Elementary school. Think! Answer will be in the next chapter. 


	5. Do You Know Why You Always Knock First?

M.R.D.: Alright, it's time for the answer. The answer is: I got the idea for the sign from an episode of the Simpsons. It's the episode where Lisa has a bully problem with the new girl, it was on last week. In it, there is a scene where Lisa asks Willy to see the school's security tapes and Willy takes her to the office where the tapes are kept and on the door it says "Stay Oot." Now since I'm feeling nice today (Because it's almost Tuesday, and you know what happens this Tuesday) I'm gonna give you all bacon, even if the answer was wrong. Now on to chapter Five!  
  
Disclaimer: Smell ya' later!  
  
5) Do You Know Why You Always Knock First ?  
  
Jamie: Why do I have to be stuck with you? (Looks at Bobby)  
  
Bobby: (Staring at the wall) Cool!  
  
Jamie: What are you doing?  
  
Bobby: Oh yes. Do it.  
  
Jamie realizes Bobby's looking through a hole in the wall.  
  
Jamie: Let me see! Let me see! (Pushes Bobby out of the way) (Looks through the hole)  
  
~~~Through the hole~~~  
  
Rouge is shown to be in her room, eating cheese.  
  
~~~Outside the hole~~~  
  
Jamie: You idiot! I thought it was gonna be something good!  
  
Bobby: What could be better than cheese?  
  
Jamie: Bacon.  
  
Bobby: What did you just say?!  
  
Jamie: Forget it. Let's just get the extra wheel chair.  
  
~~~In Rahne's room~~~  
  
Sam had been left alone in the room to watch over Santa's body while the others had gone to get some supplies for the journey to do the Dark Deed, or as Roberto had called it, the Big Weed.  
  
Sam: I'm bored of this. (Looks at Santa's body) What the hell, I'll do it any way.  
  
~~~Outside Rahne's room~~~  
  
Amara: Do we have everything?  
  
Rahne: Lets see; we got a flashlight, some food, Roberto's weed, and a shovel. That's everything.  
  
Roberto: How did you get my weed?  
  
Jubilee: We went into your room and found it in your underwear pile.  
  
Rahne: (Open's her door) O_O  
  
Everyone else: (Look in her room) O_O  
  
Sam: (Spanking Santa's body) Who's your daddy?! Who's your daddy?! Who's your daddy?!  
  
Rahne: SAM!  
  
Sam: Oh crap. It's not what you think. I was just practicing for tomorrow night Rahne, I swear!  
  
Rahne: Your not suppose to tell people you idiot!  
  
~~~Outside the Professor's room~~~  
  
Jamie: You knock.  
  
Bobby: Okay.  
  
Jamie: That was easy.  
  
Bobby: (Starts to move his hand to the door, when he heard music) Do you hear something?  
  
Jamie: I thought you got rid of that in therapy.  
  
Bobby: Not that, the sound coming from the Professor's room.  
  
Jamie: Then open the door slowly and peek inside.  
  
Bobby: Alright, but I don't know what good it would do. (Starts unzipping his pants)  
  
Jamie: I said PEEK inside!  
  
Bobby: Oh. (Zips up his pants and peeks inside) Oh my-  
  
Jamie: What?! (Peeks inside also) O_O  
  
~~~Inside~~~  
  
The Professor was listening and singing along to the song I'm To Sexy, while wearing a blond wig, and a mesh shirt.  
  
Prof. X: "Up on the catwalk, yeah the catwalk, I shake my little tush on the catwalk"  
  
Bobby: Um, Professor, we need an extra wheel chair.  
  
Prof. X: Oh crap! You didn't see anything and I'll give you an extra wheel chair.  
  
Jamie: See what? (Winks)  
  
Bobby: You know, the Professor- Oh yeah. Know I get it.  
  
Prof. X: Logan! Bring me a new wheel chair for prisoners No.8 and 6, I mean, Jamie and Bobby!  
  
Logan: (Comes out of no where and gets them a wheel chair) Please help me!  
  
Jamie: Thanks! Come Bobby!  
  
Bobby: But I want to see the bald-  
  
Jamie: I got Pixie Stix!  
  
Bobby: See ya'  
  
Logan: Don't leave me here!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jamie and Bobby: (Leave)  
  
Prof. X: Oh Logan!  
  
Logan: NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
M.R.D.: It's another chapter! I need to thank the man who inspired me for the Sam/Santa scene. Thanks dude! Anyway, I would like to inform you all about "Nothing." "Nothing" is a thing. See ya' next chapter. 


	6. Ever Notice That the Chapter Titles are ...

M.R.D.: Sorry I'm late. The hiatus was supposed to end yesterday, but I forgot about it until 12:00 midnight. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. I know I did ~~coughX2cough~~. I hope you enjoy this holiday disaster, I mean, fic.  
  
6) Ever Notice That the Chapter Titles are Questions?  
  
Bobby and Jamie had gotten back to Rahne's room, when they heard some crashes.  
  
Jamie: (Opens the door) Hello? O_O  
  
Bobby: What? (Looks inside) O_O  
  
Inside, Rahne was beating the crap out of Sam, who was starting to bleed.  
  
Sam: Stop it, please!  
  
Rahne: Die you filthy bastard!  
  
Jerry Springer: (Comes out of no where) Welcome to another episode of Jerry Springer. Today we have Samule Guthrie and Rahne Sinclair.  
  
Everyone: GET OUT OF HERE!  
  
Jerry Springer: Now, now, settle down-  
  
Bobby: (Smashes him over the head with a frying pan) You know, this seems oddly familiar.  
  
~~~With X-23 and Kurt~~~  
  
Kurt: Dang! It's only been a few hours and vere almost done.  
  
X-23: Yeah, only one more house. It's lucky he comes to the U.S. last.  
  
Kurt: Umm, X-23, when I said almost done, I only meant Bayville.  
  
X-23: Crap.  
  
~~~Man that was short~~~  
  
Jamie: where are we gonna bury the body?  
  
Roberto: How about in the woods.  
  
Jubilee: But that's where those kids disappeared.  
  
Roberto: Who cares? We might also get rid of Bobby.  
  
Bobby: (Scratching his butt) That feels good.  
  
Everyone: (Shutters)  
  
~~~At the main room~~~  
  
Jean: Wasn't that Santa who hit us?  
  
Scott: I think so. Wasn't that the New Recruits with him?  
  
~~~At the stairs~~~  
  
Rahne: How are we going to get him down? He's in a wheel chair.  
  
Jubilee: I know how!  
  
Amara: Let me guess, push him over the side?  
  
Jubilee: How did you know?  
  
Bobby: My pizza senses is tingling!  
  
~~~Door rings~~~  
  
Rouge comes running down the stairs.  
  
Rouge: (Opens the door) Here's the money, now leave! (Takes the pizza and runs upstairs) Sweet cheese pizza! (Disappears around the corner)  
  
Roberto: There's something you don't see everyday. Now let's go to the woods and get rid of this body.  
  
M.R.D.: Yeah it was short, but it's the end of the five day weekend and I have homework. I just feel like sharing this to you all but, when you see X2 again, you'll be surprised by the mutants mentioned in it. I won't tell you the mutants mentioned, unless you want me to. If you guys want me to tell you, I'll put it up in the next chapter. Sorry this chapter was short. 


	7. Santa Likes to Party?

M.R.D.: Hello! I've decided to put the mutants that I caught in X2 in this chapter, however if you don't want to know then don't read the closing after the words X2 MUTANTS.  
  
P.S.: Phoenix Pirate, if you think you are so good at writing, how come you have no fics of your own here? Also, the institute is supposed to be out of character!!!!!!  
  
7) Santa likes to party?  
  
~~~In Santa's sleigh~~~  
  
Kurt: Now that ve have finished Bayville, vere are we going?  
  
X-23: Well, Santa finished all of the North East states, so I guess we are off to the South.  
  
Kurt: The South? I guess Rouge's birth family.  
  
X-23: I don't think that would be a good thing, elf.  
  
Kurt: Don't make me pull Santa's sack over your head again.  
  
X-23: SO MUCH EVIL! THERE SHOULD NOT BE THAT MUCH TOILET WATER COMEING OUT ONTO THE FLOOR!!!  
  
Kurt: Settle down X-23. What's so bad about an overflowing toilet?  
  
X-23: That's how Logan died.  
  
Kurt: Logan isn't dead; he's just traumatized, permanently.  
  
X-23: Oh yeah.  
  
Kurt: (Puts his feet up on the "dashboard", and accidentally kicks a rather large compartment open) Vhat the? Vhat's this? (Pulls out some CDs, alcohol, and some weed) Uh, Santa has this stuff with him?  
  
X-23: Looks like its time to party! (Takes some weed and starts to smoke)  
  
Kurt: Alright!  
  
Before long X-23 and Kurt were both drunk and stoned, and had also entered the Southern states.  
  
Kurt: (Singing along to a song from one of the CDs) "They shouted: PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY! PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHIIIIIIITE!"  
  
X-23: (Really stoned) You're not white, your blue.  
  
Kurt: (Really Drunk) And you're a clone.  
  
X-23: (Flips him off)  
  
Kurt: You're dead! (Pulls Santa's sack out of nowhere and pulls it over X- 23's head)  
  
X-23: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH CLOGGING FOR ONE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kurt: Get over it.  
  
~~~In the woods, some where~~~  
  
Bobby: Are we there yet?  
  
Everyone: No.  
  
Bobby: Are we there yet?  
  
Everyone: No.  
  
Bobby: Are we there yet?  
  
Everyone: No!  
  
Bobby: Are we there yet?  
  
Rahne: I DON'T KNOW! ARE YOU DEAD YET?!  
  
Bobby: (Under his breath) Bi*ch.  
  
Rahne: WHAT WAS THAT?!  
  
Bobby: Bi*ch?  
  
Rahne: (Starts to attack Bobby)  
  
Sam: Actually, Bobby is right because you're a girl who can turn into a wolf, and I do believe a female wolf is called a bi*ch.  
  
Rahne: (Looks at Sam, evilly)  
  
Sam: Oh sh*t.  
  
Rahne: (Starts attacking them both)  
  
Bobby: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sam: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rahne: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Roberto: We should stop her.  
  
Jamie: Yes we should.  
  
Jubilee: Are we going to stop her?  
  
Amara: Possibly not.  
  
Roberto: Fare enough.  
  
M.R.D.: Alright, it's the end of chapter 7. Now if you do not want to know the mutants that I saw in X2, STOP READING NOW! I REPEAT, STOP READING NOW!  
  
~~~X2 Mutants~~~  
  
First, you know that list of names that Mystique was looking at to find Magneto? Well right above his name (Lensherr, Eric) it says Lebeau, Remy, and below Magneto's (This one is down a ways) it says Madox, Jamie. Now lets go forward in the movie to see the guard at the bar (you know, the one that Mystique injected iron into his blood) Anyway, there is a T.V. on in the background on it they are talking about mutant protesters then the T.V. shows a man wearing glasses talking, and you know how the news has those things with the name of person who is talking, it says Dr. Hank McCoy. I guess he hasn't mutated yet, but he is there.  
  
Those were all the mutants I could find, but I know that there are others, just keep an eye open. 


	8. Why the Hell Did it Take so Long for Cha...

M.R.D.: After a sho-lon-really long break I'm back. I left for no apparent reason, (Really fast) I'mjustgladmymompaidbail, alright, who wants an eighth chapter!?  
  
Audience: WE DO! WE DO!  
  
M.R.D.: Alright! But I should warn you, there are two parts that will terrify you; chill you to the bone even. MHAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH- oh, popcorn's done!  
  
P.S. - This is a short chapter, and I mean SHORT!  
  
P. P. S. - Thanks to the people who told me the names of more mutants, see the review page to see them.  
  
P. P. P. S. - Happy 12-17! (If you don't get what's special about that data, hit yourself silly!)  
  
8) Why the Hell Did it Take so Long for Chapter 8?  
  
Incase you forgot, X-23 and Kurt got drunk and high, the new recruits were in the woods, Rahne was beating up Bobby and Sam, and no one has noticed that Ray is still asleep at the institute.  
  
Roberto: I have a feeling that we forgot something.  
  
~~~At the institute~~~  
  
Ray: (Snore) Oh Storm! (Snore)  
  
~~~Back at the woods~~~  
  
Jamie: It couldn't have been important.  
  
Roberto: Yeah, your right, but if someone saw a Scottish girl beating up two boys, its gotta look weird.  
  
Some Random Kid: I AM the Michael Jackson!  
  
Roberto: I take that back.  
  
(Twig snaps)  
  
Amara: (Nervous) Whose there?  
  
(A Bush shakes)  
  
~~~At the White House~~~  
  
George W. Bush: (Shakes) GORE! GORE IS THAT YOU!? (Puts on an army helmet and takes out a machine gun) I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!  
  
~~~End~~~  
  
???: I knew it!  
  
All: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! IT'S YOU TWO IDIOTS!!!  
  
???: Yes it is us! Jean Grey and Scott Summers, and we are here to stop you!  
  
(The New Recruits huddle up)  
  
Jubilee: How do we beat those two idiots?  
  
Jamie: First, you (Points to Jubilee), Rahne, and Amara will take off all of your clothes-(BANG)  
  
Rahne: (Hand is curled into a fist) WHO ELSE WHANTS SOME!?  
  
Bobby: Hey! I just got an idea!  
  
Everyone (including Jean and Scott): You do? How?  
  
Bobby: I dunno. But, hey Rahne, Jean and Scott called you a bi*ch.  
  
Rahne: (Looks at Jean and Scott) KILL! KILL THE BI*CH AND HER MONKEY TOY!  
  
Everyone: Monkey Toy?  
  
Rahne: (Attacks Jean and Scott)  
  
Roberto: Now! Grab Santa's body and RUN!!!!  
  
They all (Except Rahne, Jean, and Scott) runaway, when something happened.  
  
???: (CRASH!)  
  
Everyone: Wha?  
  
???: My head.  
  
Everyone: Wha, again?  
  
M.R.D.: Short, I know, but I'm running out of ideas, but what was that crash, who said "My head," and why was this chapter so short? Stay tuned for the CONCLUSION PART 1! Yes, it's not long until the ending. 


	9. Can You Bellieve It's the Last Chapter?

M.R.D: The last chapter. I know I said I was going to split it, but I changed my mind. Read the credits.  
  
Disclaimer: LET'S KILL JEAN! LETS KILL JEAN!  
  
9) Can You Believe It's the Last Chapter?  
  
The New Recruits look over at what crashed to see Kurt and X-23.  
  
X-23: (Still stoned) You crashed the sleigh you idiot!  
  
Kurt: (Still drunk) You forgot to drop the presents off at the institute.  
  
The New Recruits then look over at what said "My head."  
  
All of the recruits: What the hell? You're alive?  
  
Santa: OF COURSE I'M ALIVE! I'M SANTA! I CAN'T DIE! (Bang)  
  
Bobby: SANTA!  
  
Santa: (Falls to the ground) Ohhhhh, Granddad?  
  
Jean came out of nowhere, holding a rather tree branch with her powers, while Scott was holding Rahne back with pictures of the Professor, I won't tell you how he got them, let's just say it involved candles, that song that goes "Let's get in on," and a pot roast.  
  
Bobby: You killed Santa!  
  
X-23: We killed him first.  
  
Jubilee: You'll pay!  
  
Kurt: You guys should have paid first.  
  
Rahne: HELP ME! I'M TOO AFRAID TO TRANSEFORM! HELP ME!  
  
Sam: RAHNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are going to pay you (*CENCORED FOR WHAT HE SAYS WILL MAKE THIS STORY R RATED*)  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Scott: (Mouth hanging open, which causes his sun glasses to fall of and shoot Sam)  
  
Rahne: GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All of the New Recruits, X-23, and Nightcrawler start to attack Jean, however, since Jean is pure evil she defeated them all.  
  
Jean: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCOTT! KILL THEM IF THEY ARE NOT ALREADY DEAD!!!!!!!!!  
  
Scott: No.  
  
Jean: What!  
  
Scott: NO!  
  
Jean: Why you! (Pushes him over a cliff with her crappy powers)  
  
Bobby: (Weak) You killed him because he defied your order?  
  
Jean: You! I've always wanted to kill you and all of the new kids. I think I'll start with Jubilee.  
  
Bobby: YOU!  
  
What happened next, well in Bayville they say, Bobby's small, tiny brain grew three sizes that day, which caused Bobby to start beating crap out of Jean.  
  
Bobby: YOU STUPID, STUPID LITTLE BI*CH!  
  
Jean: (Getting hit and frozen repeatedly)  
  
Bobby: (Kills Jean) (Breathing heavily)  
  
Jubilee: Damn.  
  
Jamie: She's dead.  
  
Roberto: Bobby! Bobby! Bobby! Bobby!  
  
All of the other people started cheering  
  
In the end, Santa woke up and left to deliver the rest of the presents.  
  
Santa: (Riding off) See you all in hell!  
  
Everyone on the roof: What?  
  
Scott was given credit to standing up to Jean. The fall only caused him to break a leg, until Bobby pushed him over again and killed him. Everyone enjoyed a merry Christmas. (The Professor got some wax for his bald head so he made everyone enjoy this Christmas) The Brotherhood also had a good Christmas (Mystique had been thrown out the two story window and was in the hospital), and the Acolytes had a good Christmas when it was found out that Sabertooth had left the group to join his old friend, Richard Simons, for Christmas, lets just say Sabertooth's stay involved a bed, candles, and chicken pot pie. Gambit (Not me, I'm M.R.D. in my fics) was especially happy to find that he got those custom cards he wanted, you know, the cards that have pictures of Rouge with no clothes on.  
  
Gambit: Remy never gonna used these, well, outside my room at least.  
  
THE END!!!!  
  
Now go away before I get my chainsaw!  
  
Cast: Bobby Drake (Idiot)  
  
Rahne Sinclair (Sexy Scottish girl who beats up Sam)  
  
Jamie Madox (Pervert)  
  
Roberto deCoasta (Reasonable)  
  
Jubilation "Jubilee" Lee (Likes to push things over the sides of something)  
  
Samuel "Sam" Guthrie (Gets beaten by Rahne a lot)  
  
Amara Aquilla (Didn't really have a part)  
  
X-23 (Stoner)  
  
Kurt Wagner (Alcoholic)  
  
Jean Grey (Bi*ch)  
  
Scott Summers (Bi*ch's lackey)  
  
Santa Clause (Victim)  
  
Guest:  
  
Hank McCoy (Hairy dude)  
  
Ray Crisp (Sleeps a lot)  
  
Prof. X (Bald freak)  
  
Logan (Bald freak's "toy")  
  
Rouge (Cheese)  
  
Gambit (Loves his new cards)  
  
The Brotherhood (Only mentioned)  
  
The Acolytes (Same as above)  
  
Writing by:  
  
M.R.D  
  
Produced by:  
  
M.R.D  
  
Directed by:  
  
M.R.D  
  
Special thanks to the creators of X-Men: Evolution; the man who created X- Men, Stan Lee; and all of my reviewers, except Phoenix Pirate.  
  
An M.R.D studio production.  
  
~ !~%%~!  
~ 


End file.
